Why the Lib Dems are behaving like narcissists*

 

Title has been changed (see below)

While it may be strange link to make, it is an important one. We may believe we are doing the right thing, but so do people who do horrific things. We need to keep ourselves in check.

Narcissists can come across as flashy and neat, with good interpersonal skills, charming glances, with an air of competence, self-assured behaviour and humour, however there is a darker side to these people. The narcissist is fixated on their image and activities are directed toward the enhancement of their image. The result of this is that a narcissist can be ruthless, exploitative, sadistic, or destructive to another person because they are so insensitive to the other’s suffering or feeling. But what characterises a narcissist above all else is the striving for power and control. Someone who feels superior to others needs to have some evidence and this manifests itself in gaining power and control, otherwise known as winning. See here for experts talking about being in a relationship with someone who is narcissistic.

So what has this got to do with the soldiers who act ‘immorally’ e.g. urinating on dead bodies or Abu Ghraib. It is difficult to comprehend why trained professionals would act in such a way but framed in terms of narcissism it can be seen very differently:

The connection between the overriding importance of winning, the denial of feeling, and the role of the image is most evident in warfare. Since victory or defeat is seen as a function largely in terms of life or death, there is no room for feelings. Soldiers function largely in terms of images. However, they retain their humanity by their feelings for a buddy or the squad members with whom they have personal contact. Without these feelings they risk becoming killing machines or going insane. A soldier is not a narcissist, but war forces him to act like one – Dr Lowen from Narcissism.

So the horrific acts make more sense when we see that soldiers act like narcissists, who can be cruel and abusive. The difference between a soldier and a genuine narcissist is that a soldier retains some form of humanity through a connection with his regiment/platoon/ friends. So what has this got to do with the Lib Dems?

Traits of narcissism could be seen in Margaret Thatcher and her demise, which will be remembered through the Poll Tax. Her belief that millionaires should pay the same as low income earners seemed cruel and out of touch yet as she could not empathise with people she failed to see a problem with the tax. Narcissists are often out of touch with reality and as they feel superior to others they feel they are born to lead. To compare a narcissist to healthy development we can see Thatcher’s behaviour more clearly:

Characteristic	Healthy Development	Narcissism
Self-confidence	High outward self-confidence in line with reality	An unrealistic sense of superiority (“Grandiose”)
Desire for power, wealth and admiration	May enjoy power	Pursues power at all costs, lacks normal inhibitions in its pursuit
Relationships	Real concern for others and their ideas; does not exploit or devalue others	Concerns limited to expressing socially appropriate response when convenient; devalues and exploits others without remorse
Ability to follow a consistent path	Has values; follows through on plans	Lacks values; easily bored; often changes course

The Lib Dems are not Margaret Thatcher but for many the Coalition Government has put forward plans to cut benefits for disabled children and cancer patients and Lib Dems Ministers and the party are seen as supporting it. When it went to the Lords only 5 rebelled (although many abstained). This has caused a depth of feeling similar to other issues such as tuition fees and other benefits caps. A feeling of disregard, unsympathetic and to many cruel. The story (i.e. perception) for many is that the Lib Dems are behaving as narcissists (Thatcher): feeling superior to what they really are, saying anything to gain power, showing no remorse for decisions made which affects people’s lives and a focus on their image rather than on what is good for the country (and them).

The reason why the Lib Dems are more like the soldiers than Thatcher is that the Lib Dems do have sound values and good reason for being in power. We do care about the decisions we make, it is just that in the situation we now find ourselves in, no one can see that. The decisions we are making are horrific to many. We may not be narcissists but being in Coalition is making us act like one. We need to show that we are not.

• Keep a focus on our values and do not bend them to fit the situation.
• Show genuine feeling for the people who are affected by the decisions we make.
• Be prepared to stand up to things that will harm people.
• Be prepared to take on criticism.
• Abstaining is not a rebellion. Voting against is. If you want to show that you do not support something, own that decision. Abstaining will not show you care.

* the title has been changed, as the original title has caused offence. I should have realised it would, but I didn’t. I thank those who have left feedback and comments. All feedback, positive and negative, is taken on board.